40 weeks…. 40 weeks since we decided to change our lives, our health & our bodies. It really is quite unreal…

As a side note to everyone who thinks LCHF is not sustainable…. 40 weeks…. or 280 days…. Or 6720 hours….or 403200 minutes…. Not sustainable my arse! A traditional low fat diet was sustainable for me for a week without overeating, being consumed by thoughts of food or falling off the wagon within a period of days!

I am literally, to steal a phrase from my very funny husband…. The breadth of an ants ball hair away from breaking through the 30kg loss mark. I won’t lie, the last couple of kg’s have been tough. It’s like my body is fighting to stay fat…. Every big weight loss milestone was easy, dropping below 110kg’s, dropping below 100kg’s and then it started to get tougher when I dropped below the 90kg mark. I’m literally a few grams away from dropping below 88kg’s and that will bring my total loss to 30kg’s but it feels like it’s a goal I’m constantly flirting with but getting no action from. For the last two weeks, I come within a couple of grams of it, then my weight goes up a few hundred, drop a few, gain a few, I’m still just hovering there. What is interesting is that the same thing happened at 90kg’s. I hung there for weeks, being teased by it, then suddenly one day it just happened! I’m expecting anymore now to have busted through that next barrier.

There is one area I’m really struggling with…. My mind! My mind is still that of a fat chic. Or at least, I still think I am. Just this morning I was getting dressed for work, in my work staples, jeans & I put on a tank top and then went hunting for something matching I could wear over the tank top to hide my body in when Walter came walking out the bathroom and told me to take the little shoulder cover off, he was like… “You know you don’t need to wear that anymore, you’re not fat, you don’t need to hide anything!” And his right. But on the inside I still feel the same and I suppose my inside doesn’t match with what’s showing on the outside just yet, I wonder if that will ever change?

I went to the office bathroom and took a selfie just to prove to myself that I did indeed just wear a tank top to work today and I did get teased by my work mates about not standing close to them because…. “skinny bitch” … Is it odd that these comments, while very flattering (and believe me I love them) also on some level embarrass me because I feel like everyone must be lying?

Here’s a comparison…. Week 1 to Week 40. I know intellectually that week 40 is me now, but in my minds eye, I still see myself as the person in the Week 1 photo and I’m not sure that will ever change.

Week 40 Comparison