Guys, I’ve been keeping a secret. Actually, that’s a bit ridiculous, seen as you all have eyes and if you’ve seen photos of me recently, you’ll know my “secret”.  So let me just take a deep breath and rip the bandaid off, I’m going to get real honest and real vulnerable with you all….. Remember when I lost 35kgs about 5 years ago? Well, I gained it all back!

I’m Not That Girl Anymore

By that girl, I mean this girl:

And I’m devastated to be right back where I started more than 5 years ago. Devastated. But the time for excuses and self-pity is over. It’s time to take action.

The Excuses

I could tell you a million different reasons why I slid down that slippery slope of weight gain. I could tell you it started a year and a half ago, slowly at first, after I fell off a horse, literally, tore my calf muscle, damaged my Achilles and injured my back. I could tell you it’s because I quit smoking 9 months ago. I could tell you it’s because I’m in perimenopause. And while all of that is true, ultimately, I know in my heart of hearts that those are all just excuses. It’s time to hold myself accountable. I could give you a million different excuses or try to punt this as a positive thing, but in all honesty, while there is breath in my body, while it houses my soul, I will not give up my fight to have the very best body I can possibly have. I want a strong, healthy body.

I Can Tell You What Happened Too

I did fall off a horse, I did injure myself badly, I wasn’t able to exercise or train for a long time afterward, falling off a horse in your mid-forties hurts a lot more than it did as a teenager, it’s also taken a lot longer to recover.  It’s true, I did quit smoking. It’s also true that I am in perimenopause. But you know what else is true? I stopped holding myself accountable. I stopped practicing daily self-discipline. After keeping the weight off for almost 5 years, I got arrogant,  thought I’d beaten my battle of the bulge. I was wrong. I was always one bowl of pasta away from obesity. It’s a slippery slope and I slid hard and fast. I stopped nourishing my body with good wholesome foods, I stopped practicing the 80/20 principle and it all came back… on my arse and stomach!

The Turning Point

For the past few months, I have battled with lower back pain, pain in the bones of my feet, IBS and heartburn. I know every one of these symptoms pertains to my weight, go and check out my Instagram post to see exactly how I look now, I posted some current body images on this post, you just need to scroll through to see what I look like now. There is no doubt in my mind that my weight is causing these issues.


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REMEMBER WHEN I DID THIS?⠀ ⠀ I’m about to get very real and in the process, I am making myself vulnerable, so please be kind? ⠀ ⠀ Way back in 2014, I did something insane…. I took up the challenge to change my life and my health and in the process, I lost 35kg’s in just 11 months.. and then, I kept the weight off for F I V E years! Something no one, least of all me, could have believed I could do.⠀ ⠀ But then I got arrogant. I thought I had my life long battle of the bulge whipped, I thought that I I didn’t need to hold myself accountable every day, I didn’t need to exercise self-discipline every single day….. ⠀ ⠀ *FULL DISCLOSURE*⠀ I have been trying to hide away for a long time and it’s just ridiculous. So full disclosure time because you all have eyes that see and because I need to live my authentic self…⠀ ⠀ I GAINED IT ALL BACK⠀ ⠀ *swipe to see current images*⠀ ⠀ I could give you a million reasons why, and for the last year, I’ve found a million reasons why I’ve gained weight, but the truth….⠀ ⠀ THAT’S ALL BULLSHIT!⠀ ⠀ I gained it all back because I stopped holding myself accountable. Because I stopped focusing on caring for my body. Because I got slack with the self-discipline. ⠀ ⠀ So now it’s time to do it ALL AGAIN because I am not a quitter and I won’t give up! While I still have a body to house this soul, I will fight for it every single day and part of that is nurturing it through good nutrition and movement. ⠀ ⠀ I have a plan, I started executing that plan this week so come on a journey with me…. and help me stay accountable. ⠀ ⠀ I’ll share more of my plan over on my blog in the next couple of days, for now, I just wanted to rip the bandaid off and expose my true self so I can move forward. ⠀ ⠀ Am I terrified of being judged? Yes absolutely. But will that stop me? NOPE! #weightlossjourney #weightlosstransformation #weightlossmotivation #weightlosssupport #weightlossinspiration #weightlosscommunity #weightlosschallenge #weightlossprogram #weightlossstruggle #weightgoals #myweightloss #weightlossmission #lowcarb #lowcarbdiet #lowcarblife #lowcarbs #lowcarbfood #lowcarbliving #lowcarbhighfatdiet #lowcarbweightloss #lowcarbmom #lowcarbketo

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The Plan

It’s time to get my shit together. It’s coming to the realization that it’s been ME holding me back. It’s ME that did this and it’s ME that can turn this around. I’ve done it once and I’ll do it again, so here’s how I plan to do it:

  • I got an Apple Watch through my Discovery Vitality, so now the pressure is really on to make sure I achieve my activity goals EVERY SINGLE week because I do not want to pay for the watch!
  • I am going to recommit myself to the Weeks to 5KM Challenge.
  • I joined the gym! Virgin Active has an awesome special on at the moment for Vitality members, instead of paying R1900 activation fee, you only pay R700, then it’s your card fee and a monthly payment of R175. The club I’ve joined offers Reformer Pilates and I believe this could really help me strengthen my core and help with my back pain.
  • I have also been given an amazing opportunity, with such fortuitous timing, to collaborate with Bodify EMS. I am super excited, I have my first session on Sunday and it’s designed to work out to one 20 minute session being equal to a 4-hour gym sesh.
  • And I started yesterday already getting back on the banting wagon, starting off this week with a bit of a fat fast so just jump start everything.

I am so ready to go back to the woman I am meant to be. I don’t like this physically weaker version of myself. I can’t bear the fact that while we were on holiday, my family had to wait for me on our beach walks because I couldn’t keep up. I’m sick of being in pain. I am fed up of feeling unwell.

Kate Moss once said: “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels!” And damn but having been at both ends of this spectrum, I can say she is RIGHT! And while my goal is NOT to be skinny I would just like to be that strong, slender, Scandanavian SHielf-Maiden I once was and I am destined to be again.


Make sure you’re following me on Instagram as I will be posting regular progress pics there!