Guys, I’ve been keeping a secret. Actually, that’s a bit ridiculous, seen as you all have eyes and if you’ve seen photos of me recently, you’ll know my “secret”. So let me just take a deep breath and rip the bandaid off, I’m going to get real honest and real vulnerable with you all….. Remember when I lost 35kgs about 5 years ago? Well, I gained it all back!
I’m Not That Girl Anymore
By that girl, I mean this girl:
And I’m devastated to be right back where I started more than 5 years ago. Devastated. But the time for excuses and self-pity is over. It’s time to take action.
The Excuses
I could tell you a million different reasons why I slid down that slippery slope of weight gain. I could tell you it started a year and a half ago, slowly at first, after I fell off a horse, literally, tore my calf muscle, damaged my Achilles and injured my back. I could tell you it’s because I quit smoking 9 months ago. I could tell you it’s because I’m in perimenopause. And while all of that is true, ultimately, I know in my heart of hearts that those are all just excuses. It’s time to hold myself accountable. I could give you a million different excuses or try to punt this as a positive thing, but in all honesty, while there is breath in my body, while it houses my soul, I will not give up my fight to have the very best body I can possibly have. I want a strong, healthy body.
I Can Tell You What Happened Too
I did fall off a horse, I did injure myself badly, I wasn’t able to exercise or train for a long time afterward, falling off a horse in your mid-forties hurts a lot more than it did as a teenager, it’s also taken a lot longer to recover. It’s true, I did quit smoking. It’s also true that I am in perimenopause. But you know what else is true? I stopped holding myself accountable. I stopped practicing daily self-discipline. After keeping the weight off for almost 5 years, I got arrogant, thought I’d beaten my battle of the bulge. I was wrong. I was always one bowl of pasta away from obesity. It’s a slippery slope and I slid hard and fast. I stopped nourishing my body with good wholesome foods, I stopped practicing the 80/20 principle and it all came back… on my arse and stomach!
The Turning Point
For the past few months, I have battled with lower back pain, pain in the bones of my feet, IBS and heartburn. I know every one of these symptoms pertains to my weight, go and check out my Instagram post to see exactly how I look now, I posted some current body images on this post, you just need to scroll through to see what I look like now. There is no doubt in my mind that my weight is causing these issues.
The Plan
It’s time to get my shit together. It’s coming to the realization that it’s been ME holding me back. It’s ME that did this and it’s ME that can turn this around. I’ve done it once and I’ll do it again, so here’s how I plan to do it:
- I got an Apple Watch through my Discovery Vitality, so now the pressure is really on to make sure I achieve my activity goals EVERY SINGLE week because I do not want to pay for the watch!
- I am going to recommit myself to the Weeks to 5KM Challenge.
- I joined the gym! Virgin Active has an awesome special on at the moment for Vitality members, instead of paying R1900 activation fee, you only pay R700, then it’s your card fee and a monthly payment of R175. The club I’ve joined offers Reformer Pilates and I believe this could really help me strengthen my core and help with my back pain.
- I have also been given an amazing opportunity, with such fortuitous timing, to collaborate with Bodify EMS. I am super excited, I have my first session on Sunday and it’s designed to work out to one 20 minute session being equal to a 4-hour gym sesh.
- And I started yesterday already getting back on the banting wagon, starting off this week with a bit of a fat fast so just jump start everything.
I am so ready to go back to the woman I am meant to be. I don’t like this physically weaker version of myself. I can’t bear the fact that while we were on holiday, my family had to wait for me on our beach walks because I couldn’t keep up. I’m sick of being in pain. I am fed up of feeling unwell.
Kate Moss once said: “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels!” And damn but having been at both ends of this spectrum, I can say she is RIGHT! And while my goal is NOT to be skinny I would just like to be that strong, slender, Scandanavian SHielf-Maiden I once was and I am destined to be again.
ARE YOU WITH ME????
Make sure you’re following me on Instagram as I will be posting regular progress pics there!
Judy Duncan says
Hi Sharon
You inspired me when you undertook your original journey and I lost 20kgs….. and I have managed to keep most of it off except the last few weeks I have fallen off the wagon and I’m battling to get back on. Your post has motivated me to find out the “damage” and re-focus myself so things don’t unravel. I don’t know you personally but I know how hard it is to be open and honest and admit when we “mess” up. Good luck and I’ll be rooting for you
Kween B says
Don’t wait till it’s too late Judy. Don’t let all your hard work unravel. I am so angry with myself for setting myself right back to the beginning and having to start all over again!
Nikki Lincoln ✌ (@nikkilincoln) says
I loved this post so much because I can hard relate. You are going to smash this. Remember to be kind to yourself and be forgiving. Beating yourself up about weigh gain won’t help you lose anything, it’ll just make you feel kak. Ive been down a rabbit hole of eating since Easter and the past month I’ve been firmly back on the wagon and while the weight has onky shifted slightly, I am feeling so much better. I believe in you and I am so excited to follow along this journey.
Kween B says
I have been feeling so angry with myself over the weight gain, it’s such a slippery slope and food is so highly addictive for me. But it’s time!
Therese says
Hi, I have been so inspired by your post as I too after training with a personal trainer for 4 years and really getting into shape, feeling fit… but still being negative because I wasnt getting smaller, I stopped traiining with him and gained all the weight back on and feel unwell and unfit. Now it seems like an impossible mountain to try and climb back up.Thanks for this post…. at least Im not alone in my frustration with being back at my previous body shape and weight gaine.
Kween B says
You’re not alone, the struggle is real.